by fatemeh pouresmail
06/29/2026
Many of the inequalities women face later in life do not begin in the workplace, in society, or even in the legal system. They often begin much earlier—inside the home, where boys and girls are raised under different expectations despite growing up in the same family.
For generations, family has been considered the foundation of Iranian society. Families provide love, security, and identity. Yet in many traditional households, daughters and sons are still treated differently, not necessarily because parents love one child more than the other, but because cultural traditions have shaped different expectations for each.
Although Iranian society has changed significantly over the past four decades, traces of these traditional attitudes remain. In some families, the birth of a son is still celebrated more enthusiastically than the birth of a daughter. Sons are often viewed as the future providers, the carriers of the family name, or the family’s primary source of security. Daughters, meanwhile, are frequently expected to be more careful, more obedient, and more protective of the family’s reputation.
From an early age, many girls learn that their freedom comes with conditions. A brother may stay out later with friends, travel independently, or make important life decisions with little resistance. His sister, however, may be expected to explain every decision, seek permission more often, and accept greater restrictions on her personal life.
These differences extend far beyond simple household rules. They can influence educational opportunities, career choices, friendships, marriage decisions, and even personal confidence. While many parents sincerely believe they are protecting their daughters, excessive control can unintentionally send a harmful message—that girls are less capable of making responsible decisions on their own.
At the same time, many boys raised under these different standards may come to believe that greater freedom and authority are natural rights rather than privileges. Without realizing it, they may carry these beliefs into adulthood and later into marriage, where unequal expectations can create conflict and misunderstanding.
One of the most overlooked aspects of this issue is that women themselves sometimes help preserve these traditions. Mothers and grandmothers who spent years living under strict social expectations may encourage younger women to accept the same limitations. Expressions such as “A girl should behave this way,” “Protect the family’s honor,” or “Good daughters never question their parents” continue to influence many households today.
Meanwhile, similar behavior by boys is often dismissed with phrases like “He’s just being a boy.” These seemingly small differences accumulate over time, shaping the confidence, independence, and opportunities available to young women.
Fortunately, change is happening. Today’s Iranian parents are generally more educated and more aware than previous generations. Many actively encourage their daughters to pursue higher education, build successful careers, participate in sports, and become financially independent. These positive developments demonstrate that attitudes are evolving.
However, progress remains uneven. In some communities, social judgment still plays an enormous role in family decisions. Parents may worry more about what relatives or neighbors will think than about what their daughter truly wants for her future. Decisions regarding education, employment, or marriage are sometimes influenced more by public opinion than by the individual’s dreams and abilities.
Education plays a crucial role in changing this reality. Teaching children from an early age that respect, opportunity, and responsibility belong equally to boys and girls helps build healthier families and stronger communities. Equality does not begin in universities or government institutions—it begins around the family dinner table, through everyday conversations, and in the examples parents set for their children.
Iran’s future depends on the talents of all its citizens. Every girl who is encouraged to study, think independently, pursue her ambitions, and contribute to society strengthens not only herself but also her family and her country.
Creating equal opportunities does not require abandoning cultural values. It requires recognizing that dignity, respect, and fairness are values shared by every healthy society. Families can preserve their traditions while also allowing daughters the same opportunities to grow, learn, and succeed as their sons.
Real equality begins when children are valued for their character, talents, and determination—not simply because they were born male or female.
Perhaps the most meaningful social transformation in Iran will not begin in parliament or in public demonstrations. It will begin quietly inside millions of homes, where parents choose to replace outdated expectations with trust, encouragement, and equal opportunities.
When a young girl grows up believing her voice matters just as much as her brother’s, she enters adulthood with confidence rather than fear. She becomes better prepared to contribute to her community, support her family, and inspire future generations.
A stronger Iran will not be built by limiting the potential of half its population. It will be built by recognizing that every child—whether a son or a daughter—deserves the same chance to dream, to achieve, and to shape the future.