By Shahbod Noori
08/24/2026
A few days ago, a woman called me. The conversation started with one subject, wandered into another—as conversations often do—and eventually she said something with such confidence that I had to stop and think.
“Women have to complain about something every day. It doesn’t really matter what it is. Complaining gives us a certain sense of relief.”
I asked, “Really?”
She said, “Absolutely!”
Now, I am neither a psychologist nor an expert on women, so I decided this theory should be credited to her—not to medical science!
But afterward, I started thinking: maybe there is actually something interesting here.
Do women really complain more?
Or do we men simply call anything lasting longer than two minutes—and not involving sports, cars, work, or dinner—“nagging”?
For example:
She says, “I’ve asked you three times to move that box out of the hallway.”
He replies, “There you go nagging again!”
But here is the question: If we had moved the box the first time, would episodes two and three of this television series ever have been produced?
Maybe some of what men call nagging is simply a reminder about something we promised to do three weeks ago.
Still, let’s be fair.
Some women do seem to possess a remarkable talent for finding a subject.
If it’s hot: “Why is it so hot?”
If it’s cold: “Why is it so cold?”
If the restaurant is crowded: “Why did we come here?”
If the restaurant is empty: “There must be something wrong with the food!”
If her husband comes home early: “What happened? Why are you home so early?”
And if he comes home late…
Well, perhaps we should leave that chapter unpublished!
But men are hardly innocent.
We simply don’t call our own behavior “complaining.”
When we spend thirty minutes complaining about traffic, we’re conducting “urban analysis.”
When we complain about gasoline prices, it becomes “economic discussion.”
When we complain about our boss, employees, taxes, neighbors, politics, or our favorite team losing, we’re simply “discussing the realities of life.”
But when our wives spend ten minutes talking about someone who irritated them?
Diagnosis complete:
“You complain too much!”
Maybe the problem is our definition.
Men and women both need ways to release the frustrations of everyday life. Some people become quiet. Some go for a walk. Some listen to music. And some simply need to talk.
And sometimes the person telling us about a problem doesn’t actually want us to solve it.
This is something many men, even after years of marriage, still haven’t completely figured out.
A woman says:
“Someone said something to me today that really upset me.”
Immediately, the man activates Emergency Problem-Solving Mode:
“Next time do this… Tell her that… Don’t talk to her anymore…”
Meanwhile, perhaps the only response she wanted was:
“I understand. That must have been upsetting.”
That’s it!
No emergency meeting.
No FBI investigation.
No five-year strategic plan.
Sometimes people simply want to be heard.
So perhaps the woman who called me was partly right—not because women “need to nag” in order to relax, but because talking about everyday frustrations can help many people release stress.
Men do it too.
We just give it more impressive names!
So the next time your wife starts talking about something that bothers her, before saying, “Here we go again,” try listening for a few minutes.
You may discover that behind what you call nagging is a genuine concern, exhaustion, a desire for attention—or simply the very human need to talk.
And to the ladies reading this, please don’t be too upset with me.
This week, we simply wanted to have a little fun.
Of course, if you strongly disagree with this editorial, you are always welcome to call the magazine and complain.
Just please…
Don’t nag too much!
I’m kidding.
Call us. We’re listening.
— Shahbod Noori
Editor-in-Chief
Tehran International Weekly Magazine