By Shahbod Noori

07/25/2026

The most painful betrayals do not always come from strangers.

Sometimes they come from the very people you have called friends for decades—people whose families you know, whose successes you have celebrated, and whose word you trusted more than any written contract.

I am not writing these words based on stories I have heard.

I am writing from personal experience.

Like many others in our community, I trusted longtime friends. They owned successful businesses, expensive properties, impressive offices, and appeared financially secure. I believed that their reputation, friendship, and integrity were stronger than any legal guarantee.

I was wrong.

Today, despite signed agreements, writte  contracts, guarantees, and clear evidence, several of those individuals have refused to repay what they owe. Some of these cases have ended up in court, costing not only money but also years of emotional stress, legal expenses, and countless sleepless nights.

That is why I feel a responsibility to share this warning with our Iranian community abroad.

In today’s world, never lend money unless you are fully prepared for the possibility that you may never see it again.

It does not matter whether someone owns a large corporation, luxury homes, expensive cars, or appears to be highly successful.

Appearance is not proof of honesty.

Success is not proof of financial responsibility.

A polished office is not proof of character.

Many people judge trustworthiness by what they can see.

A beautiful house.

A thriving business.

A luxury lifestyle.

A respected name within the community.

Yet life has taught many of us a painful lesson: there is a significant difference between looking wealthy and honoring one’s obligations.

Some people possess great assets but very little integrity.

They make promises easily, but when repayment becomes due, the excuses begin.

Phone calls go unanswered.

Meetings are postponed.

Deadlines disappear.

Months become years.

Meanwhile, the lender’s life slowly begins to fall apart.

The greatest loss is not always financial.

The money someone lends may represent decades of hard work.

It may be retirement savings.

It may be a family’s emergency fund.

It may be the money set aside for a child’s education or the future of a small business.

When that money disappears, far more than a bank account suffers.

Families experience enormous stress.

Marriages are tested.

Plans for the future are postponed.

Trust disappears.

Peace of mind vanishes.

Even when you have signed contracts and legal guarantees, recovering your money is rarely simple.

Many people will tell you,

“Don’t worry—you have documents.”

But documents are only the beginning of a long legal process.

Court cases can take months—or even years.

Attorney fees continue to grow.

Collection efforts become exhausting.

Some debtors move their assets.

Others close companies, transfer ownership, declare bankruptcy, or find legal ways to delay repayment.

A contract improves your legal position.

It does not guarantee your peace of mind.

Sometimes the safest decision is not obtaining a stronger contract.

Sometimes the safest decision is simply saying no before the money ever leaves your hands.

As Iranians, many of us take pride in helping one another.

When a friend says they need temporary financial assistance, we naturally want to help.

We believe friendship requires sacrifice.

Sometimes we are even embarrassed to refuse.

But protecting your family’s financial future is not selfish.

You have a responsibility to the years you spent earning your savings.

You have a responsibility to your spouse, your children, and your own future.

No friendship should require you to risk everything you have built.

If someone becomes offended because you ask for financial security, legal documentation, or independent verification, consider that your first warning sign.

And even then, remember this:

Contracts alone are not enough.

Before lending substantial amounts of money, consult an independent attorney.

Verify assets.

Confirm ownership.

Review financial records whenever possible.

Never assume that what you see reflects reality.

Most importantly, never lend money that would seriously damage your own life if it were never returned.

Never risk your home.

Never jeopardize your retirement.

Never use your children’s education fund.

Never place your family’s security in someone else’s hands.

Likewise, never co-sign a loan unless you are financially capable of paying the entire debt yourself.

Another mistake we sometimes make within our immigrant community is assuming that shared language, culture, friendship, or family connections automatically create trust.

They do not.

Just as there are countless honest, hardworking, and honorable members of our community, there are also individuals who take advantage of trust, familiarity, and long-standing relationships.

This article is not intended to create fear or destroy trust among Iranians.

Communities cannot survive without trust.

But trust must always be accompanied by wisdom.

Blind trust is not a virtue.

Sometimes it is simply a costly mistake.

Before lending money, pause.

Discuss it with your family.

Seek professional legal advice.

Ask yourself one simple question:

If this money is never returned, will my family’s future be harmed?

If the answer is yes, then your answer should also be no.

Your friend may become disappointed.

They may accuse you of not trusting them.

But temporary disappointment is far better than years of lawsuits, financial loss, broken friendships, and emotional pain.

We must learn to separate friendship from financial transactions.

Friendship is built on respect and honesty.

Business requires contracts, accountability, and the ability to repay obligations.

When emotion replaces careful judgment, both the money and the relationship are often lost.

Allow me to leave you with one final thought.

Never trust appearances.

A person may own a large company while carrying enormous hidden debt.

They may own valuable property that is heavily mortgaged or tied up in legal disputes.

They may appear wealthy while surviving on borrowed money.

Your savings represent years—perhaps decades—of sacrifice.

Do not place them at risk simply because someone appears successful or has been your friend for many years.

A true friendship will survive hearing the word “No.”

But money lost through misplaced trust may never return.

— Shahbod Noori
Editor-in-Chief
Tehran International Weekly Magazine